The processes of self mastery and awareness are not about placing blame for present circumstances.
Awareness usually requires you to drill down to the root cause(s) of your issues and yes, many times that root cause will be some person or some event.
Root causality is so named because a root cause is the starting point for a chain reaction of choices and events that have snowballed into your present circumstance.
Having a target to blame is not the same as defining a root cause.
For example, perhaps you blame your parents for doing, or not doing, certain things, thus impacting you detrimentally. You may think, “Root cause = parents!”
Nope.
Your parents aren’t the root cause. An unconscious perspective of yours, unacknowledged and unaddressed from childhood, that impacted your perceptions of your parents’ actions, or lack thereof, is the root cause.
It always comes back to self. Hence, self mastery.
An interesting fact about root causality—it is not required. Root causality is only the means to an end.
You can resolve psychological and emotional issues without ever returning to the past, because ultimately what matters is the now. That you face up to the reality of your here and now, and do what you need to do.
Most of us aren’t that adept though. Hence, we require the formulaic approach of:
- First fronting up to what we fear to face in our past, and
- Then fronting up to what we fear to face in our present, and
- Finally, doing what we need to do to resolve our issue(s).
But first you must get this straight—you seek your past for the sole purpose of letting it go.
The aim of the exercise is not to absolve yourself of responsibility by placing blame, “See! THAT’s why!” However tempting it is.
Anger is to be expected. The healing process often begins with the acknowledgement and release of a plethora of repressed emotions. You will be angry, rage even. You will grieve. This is natural. And the initial stages of anger and grief will look, sound and feel like blame but there is a crucial difference.
Blame is a stuck state of being. A self created psychological and emotional imprisonment. Stuck in one point, or period, in time so emotionally charged that it is distorted. Memory is unreliable.
In healing, we move through the anger, grief and blame, and beyond to understanding, forgiveness and gratitude.
- Understanding happens when you are able to remove emotional distortion to view events objectively.
- Forgiveness happens when you accept responsibility for every thought and emotion you experienced.
- Gratitude happens when you realise just how much better and stronger a person you have become as a result of your suffering.
That is the true potential of seeking root causality through awareness and self mastery—spiritual independence through self empowerment.
Blame is a state of victimhood. Blame says, “I’m not responsible for what happens in my life.”
You may not have chosen to be born with a debilitating disability, to an abusive family, or in abject poverty. However, you are responsible for everything you chose to think, feel, say and do about circumstances in your past, and it is those choices that created your present.
Your choice where you wish to go next.
